Everton’s worst signings
Everton, like all clubs, have had their fair share of “mishaps” in the transfer window. Those players who you wonder if anyone ever actually scouted them, or whether they won some form of competition on The Gadget Show to be there. With Everton set to embark on an expensive looking summer, let’s have a laugh and look at some of the players who, shall we say, didn’t make the cut.
1. Andy Van Der Meyde
In 2005, Everton forked out £2m on Dutch wide-man Andy Van Der Meyde. A Dutch international who featured in 4/5 of his national side’s games at Euro 2004, he moved after spending 2 years at Inter Milan and a successful 6-year spell with Ajax, surely he couldn’t be all that bad? Unfortunately, he really was. The fact that he made more headlines off the pitch than on it summed it up. I remember two things of AVDM on the pitch – one good and one bad, against the same opposition. He was sent off for a ridiculous elbow in his first derby game in 2006 but provided the assist for Gosling’s goal in the FA Cup in 2008 – every cloud. Failing to report for training, having his drink spiked, his dog got nicked, overall it was a terrible four years for Andy and it was no great loss when he moved on in 2009.
2. Antolin Alcaraz
The only saving grace for Antolin was the fact he didn’t cost us anything. He was truly awful. An average defender at best in a Wigan side that kicked off more than a Russian Ultra at the Euros, he went from pretty crap to God awful in his two years at Goodison. His Everton career ended on a fatal night in Kiev. He failed to do the basics as a defender, such as defending. We must move on – I’m feeling ill just thinking about it.
3. Alex Nyarko
Arguably the worst player to ever wear the blue of Everton. The Ghanaian midfielder was brought in for a whopping £4.5m from Lens by Walter Smith. Dubbed the “next Viera” at the time. Probably true, once Viera goes into his 90’s. His lethargic nature and lack of effort drove blues mad. The lad simply had no presence in the game – he was built like a vending machine as well! He finally hit rock bottom in a 4-1 defeat to Arsenal in 2001, when a frustrated Evertonian attempted to take the shirt off his back as he simply wasn’t fit to wear it. He was truly, truly terrible.
4. Brett Angell
In fairness to Brett. He was out of his depth – horrifically. He arrived after a 23 goal season for Southend in 1993 initially on loan until January. A Mike Walker master stroke saw Angell loaned in again until the end of the season, with a record of 1 appearance in each spell and 0 goals. More men had been on the moon than appearances he’d made. Yet, Mike Walker signed him up for half a million. An operation, 18 lacklustre appearances, and a tap-in against Chelsea later, and Joe Royle shipped him off to Sunderland, for a profit! Neville Southall later said his first touch “was like a tackle”, says it all, really.
5. Denis Stracqualursi
Talking from a transfer and ability perspective, Denis was a huge letdown at the time. Arteta, Yakubu, Beckford, all out the door. Who to save the day? Tevez’s long lost cousin and Madrid space waster Royston Drenthe. In one of the darkest periods in Everton’s modern history, we plucked him from South American obscurity. His ability was limited. He’d get the odd knock-on, confidence would then flow through him and he’d attempt an ambitious 15-yard pass that would end up in the club shop. His first few months were painful – but he fit in with the likes of Saha .
In fairness to Denis. He gave 200% for Everton. An excellent header against Fulham left him in tears of joy. A terrible Petr Cech mistake and tap-in against Blackpool rounded off his scoring for the Blues. A player who was symbolic of the time. Started off horribly, but slowly improved and got better over time. He wore his heart on his sleeve and showed that ability wasn’t everything. Always good to end on a positive note!
Honourable mentions go to Scott Gemill, Per Koldrup, Mickaël Madar, Oumar Niasse, Earl Barrett etc..
